Archive for December, 2008

22
Dec

Being Grateful – an important reminder

   Posted by: Wayne Armstrong    in Straight Talk

A simple thank you goes a long way. I keep thinking about how many people are so trapped in their thinking about what they don’t have. The big screen TV that their neighbor has, the cars, the houses etc.

I came from Africa where poverty is rampant. I now live in the US where poverty of a different kind is rampant. There is a poverty of thankfulness for all the blessings that we have here. I have a house, thank you Lord. I have a lovely wife and two wonderful boys, Thank you Lord. I have food on the table and a Christmas tree, Thank you Lord. I have family, extended family and church family who choose to share their love and their lives with me, Thank you Lord.

I have clean water, heat in the winter and electricity, Thank you Lord. I get to touch peoples lives with hope and blessing and share experiences with friends.

If you do not know what it means to be grateful and thankful take a trip to Zimbabwe for a year. Go without Water for Days on end. Go without electricity and have an erratic power schedule. Go to the store and find nothing of value on the shelves and what you can find is 3 times the price here in the US while earning  1/100th of what you would in the US if you are lucky enough to have a job.

All my years growing up there, while we may not have had everything we wanted we could always share a smile, share some love, have a meal together and laugh.

Reality Check : Lets get back to the basics. Loving family and friends and sharing life is a great way to live. we dont need all the stuff that America craves. If we can connect with our creator and each other we will find a depth of life that brings great joy and celebration.

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19
Dec

The Wisdom that comes with Age

   Posted by: Wayne Armstrong    in Funny

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. A funny story I received by email. Let me say upfront, give me a chance at that age and i would do something like this.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Smith are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. ‘

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. September 4: Looked right into the security cam era and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

I hope you got a chuckle out of some of this. Do not underestimate the lengths at which men will go to avoid shopping.

Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, or whatever you want to say just enjoy it.

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10
Dec

Christmas Sleigh Ride

   Posted by: Wayne Armstrong    in Funny

Now this one is for those of my readers who have a sense of humor. If you are a stiff board find another post.

Just a little humor for the Christmas season.

Reality Check : Things don’t always go as planned. Beware the unexpected and always be willing to laugh even at yourself.

Have you got any funny Christmas stories to share feel free to leave a comment.

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